Zodiac
by TailsDoll13
Summary: "Karkat Vantas." The girl spoke with a slight accent. British, perhaps? "We need to have a talk." Our beloved trolls and humans weren't the only ones to play that dreaded game, Sburb-or Sgrub. 12 other trolls, and 4 other humans, also paid dearly. T because it's Homestuck, bitches. Friendship because it's a tale of survival. Romance because there's messed-up quadrants. Shazer, OUT!
1. Prolouge

**HELLO, SMALL** **EARH FUCKLINGS.**

**YES! I make a GREAT Karkat!**

**Heh heh heh...ANYWHO...**

**So, I happen to be a Furuba (or Fruits Basket!) fan! And I was thinking about how the canon trolls are based off the monthly horoscope, right? Well, then I started thinking about Furuba, and the YEARLY (AKA Chinese) horoscope.**

**Like, Year of the Dog, Year of the Snake, and all that shiz!**

**Thus, "Zodiac" was born!**

**BTW, a few of the OC's have some similarities to the canon characters. Like, there's this one guy who acts like Kankri. And a serious girl whose voice in my head, for some reason, is Kanaya's in "Let's Read Homestuck!" Then again, they're both polite, but my OC is WAY more serious.**

**WHY I NO BEZ CREATIVE?!**

**Disclaimer: Guys, my soul-due to contrary belief-cannot find in itself to kill characters. However, Rick Riordan has my soul.**

**Hussie: WHAT.**

**Me: Well, I've been a Homestuck for two MONTHS. But I've been a demigod since, like, 2009 or 2010!**

**Hussie: *wearing "Not Amused" face***

* * *

"Well, guys, I suppose this is it."

John swallowed as he and the others stared uneasily at the huge imp blocking their way. All of them doubted that they could make it.

Terezi and Sollux were both using each other for support, and, oddly enough, they didn't seem to mind the close quarters. Karkat had lost a sickle a while back, and had an arm in a makeshift sling. Jade wasn't faring very well, and was being tended by Kanaya, whose horns had been snapped off. Dave kept by her side.

Gamzee's hair was much shorter, and blood flowed from a gash in his forehead. John's right leg was in a crude cast. The Lalondes were covered in cuts and bruises. Dirk and Jane were both unconscious. Jake was bruised all over.

"It was nice knowing you guys."

Karkat scowled. "C'mon, John! This isn't the end! Right?"

"It sure looks like that."

The short-tempered troll shifted his weight. "I don't fucking think so."

"I think we're gonna see the dream bubbles soon," Terezi managed, then started to cough. Talking was becoming an effort for her. Karkat shot her a worried glance.

"Ha ha HA!" The imp boomed. "So! You've come this far, to receive your little nasty prize! Doesn't look like you're gonna get it, eh?!"

"We're still trying!" Roxy snapped, mostly from the stress of all that she's been through, though it also could've been from the fact that she was starting to suffer withdrawal from her beloved liquor.

Once again, the imp cackled. "In a few minutes, you'll be singing a different tune!"

"Not necessarily."

Everyone started.

"Kanaya, did you say something?" Jake asked.

The rainbow-drinker frowned. "No, I did not."

"Wow. They don't sound THAT alike. Do they?"

"Who's fucking there?!" Karkat squawked.

"Oh, must we introduce ourselves?"

Suddenly, there was a flash, and a girl in a black jumpsuit, with a dark gray skull appeared on the imp's back. She smiled, an innocent smile, that didn't fit the giant stained scissors she held. Holding a fist aloft, she stuck out her index finger, then the middle, the ring, the pinky, and finally the thumb, as if she were counting to five. She just stared at everyone, hand still up, smiling. It was a creepy gesture, emphasized more by the skull.

"Ready?"

The girl nodded, seeming to smile more at the boy's voice, then snapped her fingers.

Everyone stepped back some as a boy suddenly ran in front of the imp, a blur too hard to see. Suddenly, he stopped, and there was a gasp as it was revealed that this was no ordinary boy. It was, in fact, a troll.

"Yo! Dawg! Check this bad boy and his sick rhymes out, bro!" He started to beatbox. "Well, me and my friends started playing this game-at first I was like 'Dawg! This is too lame!' Then my lusus was killed, which didn't leave me thrilled, now I'm right here, staring up at a hill!"

The imp stared at the troll, who was now moonwalking, as he beatboxed in between spewing out raps. The girl rolled her eyes, then, taking the scissors apart, she stabbed them into its shoulders, one on each.

"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" The imp crumpled, then fell onto its stomach. The rapper troll quickly rolled back. "Ah, man, sis! Sick!"

The girl calmly grabbed the scissor blades from the imp, joined them together back in scissor mode, then drove them through the imp. It wailed before dissolving into grist. The troll ran up to her. "Sweet! Fist bump!" The girl stared at his fist, then shaked it. He laughed. "Sis, you crack me up!"

"Enough shenanigans." Out from the corners of the darkness, in strode others. Four other trolls, three girls and one boy, and seven humans, three girls and four boys.

They seemed to follow a girl troll, who was not in a god tier outfit. Instead, a skirt and bracelet, both a similar color to Feferi's caste color, along with a black shirt with a strange symbol in the same pink color (A/N: 龙), adorned her. She radiated a seriousness that dared you to defy her, amplified with her frown and crossed arms. A glower glimmered in her eyes as she took in the original occupants of the room. Her gray eyes gave everyone the feeling of being scanned. Finally, her judging gaze landed on Karkat, and the frown on her face deepened to a scowl.

"Karkat Vantas." The girl spoke with a slight accent. British, perhaps? "We need to have a talk."

The male troll, a bit taken aback at first, composed himself. "First of all, who the hell are you? Second, how did you know my name?"

As he talked, she had moved closer to him, and leaned into his ear. She whispered low enough so that only he could hear: "I know much about you...you mutant-blood." Nobody could hear what she said, but, as she drew back, they watched his face turn from his usual gray to a light gray.

"Yes, I know it. I've been able to learn much about you all. Including this who had passed on."

"Man, I'm glad we aren't gonna run into that Vriska girl! She reminds me a lot like Tonito-"

The female troll whirled around angrily. "WE DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM!" she snapped. The troll girl in white she had yelled at gave her a weird glance.

"Um...sure, Ro..."

Ro, as she was apparently nicknamed, gave her more of her aloof glare, though it seemed to be mixed with something else. A sort of pain, but a very unique kind of pain.

The kind of pain you get from a broken bloodpumper.

She returned her gaze to Karkat. "We need to have a talk. About Sgrub. Now."

Karkat swallowed. "A-Alright." He and Ro walked towards a corner, then sat down.

"Geez. What's her problem?" John mused.

The girl in white exchanged a glance with a human boy in a light blue. "Should we tell them?"

He shrugged. "Probably."

As Ro and Karkat talked, the other newcomers had sat down near Dirk and Jane, who had woken up, and were part of the circle surrounding them. Even the scissors girl joined them. Again, she made the same gesture with her hand. But now a faint noise was hearable, and it turned out to be a hum, a hum that she was emitting. She plopped down next to a human boy in a fiery orange, and snuggled next to him, still smiling softly. The boy stroked her back and arm gently, humming along with her. Though, as his eyes took everything in, they flickered back to the girl on occasion, and pain, a heartbroken kind, was apparent in his eyes.

The troll girl clad in white cleared her throat. "Thank you for listening to us, and not trying to behead us on sight. My name is-"

"Hey, hold on just a fucking moment!" Sollux exclaimed. "Who the fuck is Tonito, where the hell did YOU come from, and WHY-" he pointed at the humming girl "is she humming?!" The orange boy drew the black-clad girl closer to her body, where she snuggled her face into his chest, sighing deeply.

The troll girl frowned. "Well, I guess we start with Ro-or Rowena Spasky."

* * *

**Holy shit. My fingers.**

**Yeah. This is probably gonna suck.**

**Like really bad.**

**If you liked it, just let me know, so I can continue for you.**

**If you don't, let me know, so I can flip you off, and not continue.**

**Or just not let me know.**

**That'll work.**

**I'm not asking for reviews or anything. As long as I know people read this, I'll update.**

**Yeah.**

**See you next time.**

**If there IS a next time, of course.**

**Deranged Shadow Fangirl**


	2. Chapter 1

***sobs because I need to write this more***

**Well, now that I know some of you ENJOY this shit-are you mentally insane or something?!-I have decided to bless you with another chapter.**

**Sorry for the POV switch. I just find it easier to type it like this. Remember: The first chapter is the prolouge.**

**Anyways...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. I also don't own Adventure Time, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Percy Jackson, Dave Copperfield, "Great Expectations", Two Chains, Beethoven, History Channel, or their troll counterparts.**

**Aradia: 0_0**

**Me: Eh?**

**Aradia: that's a l0t**

**Me: Eh, they're mentioned. Thought I'd just clear that up.**

* * *

_Oh, hello. Glad that you are here._

== I wanna be someone.

_Yes, yes, of course you do. They all do._

== They?

_The others, of course!_

== Which human will I be?

_Ah, I'm afraid we are doing things a bit differently. We are starting with the trolls._

== Why?

_Honestly, the trolls are much more interesting! Now, who shall we be? Oh, yes. The one who gets a little, shall we say, feisty about a certain troll._

== Rowena?

_Yes, yes, that's her name._

== Be Rowena Spasky.

== You are now Rowena Spasky.

Personally, you are glad you are the only one who will not get a silly name, such as "Pimps R Us." Really! How much more immature can those petty names get?! It is good we already know your name.

Anyways, you are Rowena Spasky. You happen to have the highest color blood on the hemospectrum: that weird, kinda fuchsia thingy. Well, actually, it's a few shades darker. But that does not mean you are going to have the throne, oh, no. In fact, that responsibility falls upon the shoulders of a extremely distant relative of yours. Ferrari? Fefuro? Oh, whatever. Your lusus has only mentioned her a couple of times. She will make a much better leader than you.

You are not one for the spotlight, preferring the ocean right outside your front door to stay outside your front door, so that you may immerse yourself in books instead. You read a good deal, and are lately finishing up one of the most classic books ever, one that all must read in order to be greatly enriched about the historical periods in your race's past. It is called "Great Expectations," by Troll Charles Dickens, and, dear me, have you learned much from it! For example, if you are visiting the grave of your lusus, be on the lookout for raspy voices!

Your readings tend to stick to the classical books, and you have no need for "In Which A Young Troll Is Blamed For Stealing The Electrical Weapon Of An All-Powerful Deity And Must Return It At All Costs," by Troll Rick Riordan. **(A/N: "The Lighting Thief.") **You find books like those petty and silly, and you have no time for them. If only your friends could see the same way. You would have so many happy chats about Troll Dave Copperfield...

Anyways, we should probably move on.

You are only 6 sweeps, so your eyes are still a lackluster gray. But, sooner or later, they will fill with the succulent fuchsia. You hope. Your hair, though long, is slightly wavy and thin, which results in it being down more than up. Your skirt, the same color as your blood, ends right at your ankles, and you have a matching bracelet on your right arm. You also have a symbol on your black shirt, which is 龙. It is the symbol for dragon in West Beloyva. Or something. Surprisingly, your feet are often bare, or you are wearing socks. However, this is only when you are in your personal library. At all other times, in all other places, you have on your sandals.

You tend to be very practical, and actually have strong public speaking skills, hence your handle articulateBookworm. You are also very serious. Occasionally, you will chuckle at a joke that you have made, which only you can get. Otherwise, you never even smile. You are the most mature of your friends, and refrain from swearing and references to popular childish things, such as raps by Troll Two Chains. Really! How can people stand to listen to such terrible music! No, it's not even music, it's more like noise! Whatever happened to classic music, such as Troll Beethoven?!

...We are getting off track.

Your hobbies include reading, organizing, an "occasional" online chat, writing speeches, and having tea with your lusus, a sea dragon, as you discuss Troll Jane Austen.

Your reuppercapoon is in your library, as you have dozed off more than once in there as a young troll, and having your lusus awakened by your cries of fear from your nightmares, which were brought on by the lack of sopor slime. You keep it in the far corner, away from your precious books.

Did we forget someyhing? Oh, yes. Your horns. They are slender, and curve back gently. That is all.

Right now, you are sitting on your chair, your husktop right next to you, waiting politely for me to finish. Suddenly, you hear a beeping sound. Someone is trolling you. Who could it be?

-adventuringLeoprid [RL] has begun trolling articulateBookworm [AB]-

AL: Hi! *giggles* =:D

Oh, yes. This one. The little bunny girl, a little TOO obsessed with that show, with that really stretchy dog. Something about time and adventure. You've always thought it was about traveling through time, which, of course, is not logical in any way. It is much better to watch Troll History Channel.

AB: What !s it?

AL: I just wanted to c if u've given any more thought 2 watching Adventure Time w/ me!

Oh my goodness. She still is typing in that shitty shorthand!

...No, you said "strange." You didn't swear.

AB: You ask me th!s every day.

AL: C'mon, Rowena! EveryBunny knows how much it means 2 me!

AB: My answer was, !s, and always w!ll be no.

AL: *pouts* Ur no fun!

AB: I don't have t!me for such shenan!gans.

AL: U watched his stupid show!

That got you to stop mid-type in your speech about the importance of something that we're not interested in.

AB: That !s an ent!rely d!fferent matter, one w!th no relevance to this subject.

AL: U left the C. 2 WATCH it w/ HIM.

AB: See?

AL: SEA. I replaced "SEA" with "C." *eye roll*

AL: Get w/ the program, and take ur nose out of those silly old Books. That's wat every1 else is doing. MayBe then u'll understand wat I type half the time.

AB: No, I w!ll not take my nose out of those "silly old Books." I would much rather be the next Condescension than watch your ch!ld!sh show.

AL: *glares* Trolls 9 sweeps r watching it.

AB: Then they are wast!ng the!r pathet!c l!ves

AL: *clears throat* Anyhoo, that wasn't the entire reason I wanted 2 talk 2 u.

AB: And what would the rest of th!s part!culae reason be?

AL: Oh, Tut has a game. He ordered a copy for each of us.

AB: I am not !nterested.

AL: Your package should B arriving soon.

What?! They are just going to give you a copy of a game?! Without your consent?! This is outrageous!

AB: WHAT?!

AL: *sweatdrops* Whoa, fish gurl turned on caps. That's it, we're fucked. *nervous laugh*

AB: You could have at least asked my perm!ss!on f!rst! I do not even know what game th!s !s!

AL: It's called SGruB.

AB: SGrub.

AL: Yeah.

AB: ! bel!eve !t has been ment!oned !n recent conversat!ons w!th our other fr!ends recently.

AL: Uh-huh! *Bounces on heels excitedly*

Wow. Just won't run out of energy, will she?

Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door.

AB: Excuse me, somebody !s at my door.

AL; Ah, I Bleave that'd B the game, hun.

AB: As the major!ty of young trolls say today...whatever.

As you slip on your sandals, you decide to leave the chat open. You have no idea what to do with this game, so you would need some assistance. You don't really play games all that often.

Your lusus, of course, is out, meaning you will have to fetch the door yourself.

Your feet make no sound as you walk on the spongey carpet. No that you intend to. Soon, you are at your front door. You open it to find fish swimming past you. Groaning, you bend down to retrieve the package. You didn't particularly enjoy the water, though that was where your hive was located. You tried to stay inside as much as possible, but you did leave occasionally, either to visit a land friend, or the only other of your friends that was in the sea.

As you pick up the package, you happen to look up, just in time to see that troll with the sea horse lusus shoot down another whale, and his female friend to drag it off. You gag a little, hoping that your distant relative would never harm whales. They are beautiful, magnificent creatures. You quickly shut the door. They do this about 3 times a day, and this was the first time today.

Finally! You can see this game for yourself!

BA DA DA DA DA DA-

No! ENOUGH with the theatrics. It's unnecessary!

You simply open the package, no lights, no fanfare. Just opening it.

"Hm...Sgrub..." you mutter to yourself. Oddly enough, there are two discs. One says Server, the other, Player. You decide to resume chatting with the crazy bunny fanatic.

AL: So? *taps foot impatiently*

AB: ! am afra!d ! am not su!ted for th!s type of game.

AL: C'mon! It'll B Bunny fun!

AB: How do you know?

AL: Pfft. It's just Building stuff. Wat harm can a game do?

**(A/N: I can tell half of you are laughing right now.)**

AB: Fine! ! suppose you are r!ght.

AL: =:) That's a 1st.

AB: Just...just expla!n !t.

AL: All right, all right, hold ur Bunnies! Sheesh.

AB: Excellent.

AL: Well, Server means that u r in charge of someBunny.

AL: Like, u drag stuff in their hive, drop stuff, all that good shit. Player means someBunny is ur server.

AL: For example, I'm ur server!

Oh no.

No.

No no.

No no no.

No.

Way.

AB: !s th!s your !dea of a joke?

AL: Tut set it up. =:/

AB: Me and h!m will be hav!ng words later...

AB: So who !s my player?

AL: *giggles* HIM.

AB: Who? Tut?

AL: No. HIM.

Who-Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

Oh, goodness.

This is just...just...did Tut do this on purpose?!

AL: Hello? AnyBunny home?

AB: You really are jok!ng.

AL: Pfft!

AL: What?!

AL: No!

AL: See, I have the whole list rite here.

AL: We'll B playing two different teams: Team 1 and Team 2. Each team has a leader. We choose the person with the right skills to B the leader!

AB: Is th!s the same for everyone?

AL: Yuppers.

AL: Tut said some hacker online was complaining aBout how his friend would try everything to Bcome the leader.

AB: He sounds l!ke a very bratty grub.

AL: =:/ Yeah. *shudders* Let's hope we NEVER run in2 him! The hacker also said he needed anger management.

AB: Yes, we must try to stay away from h!m.

AL: Alrighty! So, ready to play? I already put in my server disc. U just need 2 pop in ur player 1!

AB: What about my server d!sc?

AL: HE doesn't have it yet.

AB: Alr!ght...

As you take the player disc out of its case, you suddenly get a strange sense of foreboding. As if something is telling you not to play. You shake it off, telling yourself it's just first-game-EVER jitters. But it lingers there, and grows stronger when the screen shows the loading sign.

AL: Yay! We r now connected!

AB: But my screen is blank.

AL: Yeah, the grist thingy will pop up soon.

AL: But, after that, it'll stay like that, until HE gets his.

AB: And, m!ght ! ask, who !s your server player?

AL: The only troll on Alternia, Besides my moirail, who'll watch Adventure Time with me.

AL: DUH.

AB: Ah. ! see.

AL: Yeah, But his lusus went off somewhere, so we haven't done much.

AL: So I'll just drag this machine thingy on the screen...

AB: What?

AL: It's like this tube thingy...

AL: Eh.

AL: IDK.

AB: If you say so.

Suddenly, a loud bang behind you startles you so that your hands slam down on the computer.

AB: As long as you know what you're doKgjfdfj5kggk 2:/),4.,.£_}

AL: What the fuck?!

You turn around slowly to see a tube thingy sitting right there, in your wall-that is, what USED to be your wall. A big gap is now there, and fish poke their heads in, curious. Through the window, you see the girl from earlier staring, surrounded by many cuttlefish. She holds a trident, and you see a glimmer in her hair. You can't tell what that glimmer is, though, since she's kinda far off. She raises her hand tentatively and waves. You slowly wave back, and watch as she swims off. You turn your attention back towards the tube, and now see that it's counting down. You don't pay much attention to the numbers, though. In shock, you return to the husktop.

AL: What the hell?!

AL: Dude, did something happen?

AL: HELLO!

AB: You D!D say !t was just a game, right?

AL: Yeah, it's like u virtually build ur hive or something.

AB: I do not th!nk th that !t !s v!rtuall.

AL: You mean I really did drop something in ur hive? =:O

A sudden slamming makes you stand up and whirl around. Oh no. Your lusus. She's home. This is bad. This is bad bad bad.

AB: Yes.

AB: Yes you d!d

* * *

**Blargh, I'm starting to make my chapters ridiculously long.**

**Anyways, each time a chapter ends, that means we will move on to another character.**

**Next up...it's not Tut.**

**Anyways, what do you think Rowena thinks about HIM?**

**Why the fuck are we calling HIM HIM?**

**FO DA SUSPENSE, BITCHES!**

**Anyways, see ya next time.**

**That is, if people still like this.**

**Which they probably won't.**

**Deranged Shadow Fangirl**


End file.
